by Jeffrey Murrell


Hey, everybody!
I'm gonna tell you a story
About my man.
He makes love to a hundred million people, but
He don't know it!

I use to hear his funky old tunes
And I wanted to cry
'Cause they're my dear old memories and
They keep me alive.
Yeah--they keep me alive!

And he sang ...

There were these two brothers;
One's name was Light and the other's name was Darkness.
They made a pact, traded souls with each other
So you can't have one without the other!

And Mother Nature took a shining to Light's fair complexion,
So they married up and had such an offspring!
And it was so huge (it was awesome)!
They had to name it, so they called it the universe.

And there was the matter of the afterbirth,
That insignificant thing we call the planet Earth.
Old uncle Darkness just sat back and laughed
And said, "That's okay--it's always bound to happen!"

Brother Light bring your gorgeous wife
And your star-freckled child to my house tonight.
We'll have a Bar-B-Que and drink some wine
And worry about cleaning that mess up later in time!


I knew these young wastoids
(They knew every word to his songs).
And this fine jam that he's got us in
Will only prove to make us strong!
I wonder,

What was it like when his virgin fingers
First got so seriously laid
On those mystical guitar strings,
And the man first began to play?