by Jeffrey Murrell


If you were to die, my beloved,
And leave me in tears, all torn
Forever with my heart ajar,
More than broke, but always alone,
How I'd moan within my emptied soul
And lift my head to cry out to God
And shout, "How can this be?", suffering the blow,
As one morns the death of one so loved,
So deeply stricken, so deeply robbed.
But I'll be strong when I am not
And have no will to continue on
Sobbing, instead, for you to come home
When you never would or could.
My mind would be too blasted with shock
To understand or grip reality's jolt;
"I miss you so much--please, please come home!"
But you would have seen the light in the tunnel,
As so many of us have already done,
Seeing it for an instant, then coming back to the world,
Choosing to do so because of work undone.
But you will have stayed among that devine love,
Knowing all, feeling all, content and soothed,
Yet bursting with tears from all the joy
As the light tells you the meaning of all.
But I'll be here, confined by mortality and poor
In vicious, painful reality on earth some more time to come
With an exhausted spirit and an aching, tired soul,
Confused by the pain, hurt and lost
Until grief makes me totally numb;
Until I am again collected
And I can celebrate in spirit with you
And accept your reward, as I also hope to do,
When that joyous day comes when I'll graduate life,
And we'll be together once more.